My job makes me want to fly into an apoplectic rage.
And then cry. And then quit. Or any combination of the three.
I wish I wasn't worried that I could get fired for talking shit about my job. So I'll just be vague and give you a couple little snapshots of what life is like listening to mental midgets pretend to be highly trained technical support personnel.
The other day I listened to a woman who has been working for my company for more than a year tell her customer the most ridiculous thing. My company has a product that is very popular worldwide. The "technical support" agent, who I happen to know is a fairly smart individual in normal circumstances, agreed to arrange repair for her customer's product, when the customer revealed that she was living abroad, in Germany. At which point the agent told the customer that service could only be arranged in the US and the customer would have to ship her product at her own expense to a friend in the US who could then ship the product to our company at which point we would repair it and send it back to the US address, who could then send it on to Germany at her own expense. Despite the fact that we sell our product in Germany. We sell it everywhere. And it totally makes sense for a worldwide company with a popular product sold world-wide to only provide warranty repairs in the US, right?
But this agent, like most of them, can't conceive of the idea of something being possible if they don't handle that situation at least than once a week. I imagine the thought process went something like this: "Hm, I never talk to customers in Germany. I've never set up a repair for a customer in Germany. Ergo, we do not repair products in Germany despite our products being popular worldwide." That is, if there was a thought process at all.
We don't have scripted technical support, but we may as well have for all the thinking our agents engage in.
Another painful call was the one I just listened to, where the customer's product was making weird noises when he turns it on, and this happens intermittently. The agent had the customer turn his product off and on and there were no noises. So the agent gave some preventative troubleshooting steps, advised to call back if it happens again, and got off the line with the customer. And then in his notes on the call he wrote nothing more than "general question about how to turn on device".
I love it.
My job has made me hate the word "general". As in, non-specific, not military. Everyone here loves the word "general" because it lets them get away with anything. In some circumstances, our technical support is fee-based. But agents always ask their customers if they have "general" questions. So if you can phrase your request using the word "general", you get technical support for free. "I have a general question about what troubleshooting steps I should take to fix your product when it is not turning on." And then they answer it, for free! And their case notes say, "general question".
Someone, please tell me, what is a general question? I have no idea. The phrase has no meaning to me. Maybe an example of a general question would be: "What?" or "Huh?" Those are pretty non-specific questions. However, I certainly wouldn't call tech support in order to as, "Huh?". Other than those, I don't believe a general question exists. There are specific questions about specific topics. That's it.
Or "general info"! What is that??? What is General Info??? Please, someone, tell me! ARGH!! See??? The RAGE is coming through!! I'm using multiple punctuation! Sentence fragments!! AAAAUUUUUGGGHHH.
I WANT TO THROTTLE ALL TECHNICAL SUPPORT AGENTS WHO ARE IDIOTS WHICH MEANS LIKE ALL OF THEM PERIOD.
For the first time since my age was in single digits, I now have short hair. Observe:
Holy shit.
An video-game hating, hyperbole-spouting acquaintance at work has issued me an ominous warning that people have literally died from playing World of Warcraft.
No, friends, I have not died from World of Warcraft. But I have disappeared off the face of the internet. I promise I'll remember to eat, drink, and relieve myself occasionally. And study Calculus. I only got a B+ on my most recent exam. That's almost like dying, right?
Weather.com says it is 93 degrees in Columbus today.
Clearly, it is a perfect day for the A/C to break down in the office.
